Nedarim 23 - Kol Nidre

Rabbi Elazar ben Yakov spoke little, but whatever he said became accepted. He gave the following advice: one who wants to press his friend to eat with him, should say, "Any vows that I will make will be void," and then tell his friend, "I vow that you will eat with me."

But this could not be: once his friend hears the annulment, he will pay no attention to his vow and surely won't eat with him!

Rather, Rabbi Elazar was hiding something. This is what he meant: if one uses a vow to press his friend to eat with him, then this is just a vow to create motivation, and it is automatically invalid. On a separate theme, if one wants his vows for the coming year to be ineffective, he should stand up at the beginning of the year, on Rosh HaShanna, and say thus: "All vows (Kol Nidre) that I will vow throughout the year should be void!" Then, when he later on makes a vow, it is void, provided that he remembers his initial stipulation.

But no, just the opposite, if he remembers, then why is making a vow now? - it is to overturn it! Rather, he should NOT remember, and then his vow is indeed null and void, according to his "Kol Nidre" declaration.

Art: A Seated Young Boy Eating Soup by  Giacomo Francesco Cipper