Arachin 16 - What To Do About Bad Talk?
About the one who talks badly of his fellow, God says, "He who slanders his neighbor in secret... him I cannot bear." What's the correction? If he is a scholar, he should learn Torah and books on self-improvement, and if he can't learn, he should become humble. Rav Acha said, "There is no correction for bad things that were already said. This advice is for one who wants to protect himself from speaking badly."
Bad speech kills three: the speaker, the listener, and the one they talk about. The garment of the High Priest had bells, and they atoned for bad talk - but only if it had not lead to quarrels.
One should reprove his friend for bad deeds, but only if the friend is righteous and will listen; however, Rabbi Tarfon said that in his generation nobody accepted rebuke, and in the next one nobody could rebuke properly. Assuming that the generations go down, this is all the more true today.
Suffering is helpful spiritually, what is the minimal amount? When newly made clothing does not fit, but some say when one puts a shirt inside out, and some - when one wants to take out three coins and takes out only two. However, if he took out three coins and needs to put one back - it is not suffering.
Art: Herman Frederik Carel ten Kate - A Humble Question